We all have sins to atone for.
On my quieter days in the north of Scotland I have been attempting some recipes that didn't work the first time in the hope that the culinary deities will forgive me my past indiscretions. Most recently I took another crack at pasta.
My first attempt was in 2011. The result was...sub-par. Inedible, really. Hard, tasteless sticks of starch. So many things wrong with my approach. The dough was underworked and unrested, the rolling was poorly executed and the final result was too thick, too hard, and plain disgusting. I felt shame. I decided homemade pasta was too much hassle for the potential reward and put it out of my mind.
Enter 2013. A couple of friends got this lucky man a pasta machine. I had no choice but to step up to the pasta plate again. This time I was going to knock it out of the park. Older, wiser, and fully equipped there was no way I could fail. And I didn't. Using Felicity Cloake's 'Perfect Pasta' recipe and the fancy new machine I knocked out some exceptionally long pasta. Not only was it delicious, it was a simple and relaxing thing to make. The pasta machine made all the difference.
Pasta is worth making, fun to make, and delicious. If you do feel like it though, get a pasta machine.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
The 27 Club
Soooo... I got a bit older last month. I'm not bothered - not a drug-addled rock star - but a friend of mine (who followed suit shortly afterwards) pointed out that we now fall into the 'late twenties' bracket. Another pointed out that my age was a cube number (the next is 64) but 26, being a number between a square and a cube, was even better from a maths point of view.
The comment about the late twenties got me thinking about the 'big' 3-0 and all those 'things to do before you're 30' lists. I found a 150 item list doing the circles in the blogosphere so I've jumped on the bandwagon and reproduced it below with my comments (because people love lists). The things already done are highlighted in bold
whilst italics mark out things you want to do.
- Bought everyone in the bar a drink - When we were the only people in the bar. Still counts in my book.
- Swam with dolphins
- Climbed a mountain - Pretty sure I've only climbed large hills.
- Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
- Been inside the Great Pyramid
- Held a tarantula
- Taken a candlelit bath with someone - Very few tubs are made for two.
- Said “I love you” and meant it
- Hugged a tree
- Bungee jumped
- Visited Paris
- Watched a lightning storm at sea - Awesome! I love watching lightning storms
- Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
- Seen the Northern Lights
- Gone to a huge sports game
- Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
- Grown and eaten your own vegetables
- Touched an iceberg
- Slept under the stars
- Changed a baby’s diaper
- Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
- Watched a meteor shower
- Gotten drunk on champagne
- Given more than you can afford to charity
- Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
- Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
- Had a food fight
- Bet on a winning horse - I'm not a gambler.
- Asked out a stranger
- Had a snowball fight
- Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
- Held a lamb
- Seen a total eclipse - Only seen partial eclipses. They don't count!
- Ridden a roller coaster
- Hit a home run - I think this should be edited to include other sports (scored a try, hit a 6, scored a goal, threw a 3-pointer, etc.)
- Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking - I dance from time to time (always like a fool) but it's really rare that I just let go of my cares and lose myself in the moment, which is what a lot of dancing really should be about in my mind.
- Adopted an accent for an entire day - I think this would just annoy people!
- Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment - I feel sorry for those who haven't done this in the past 6 months, yet alone the last twenty-something years. I believe brief bursts of joy are possible even when life is grinding down your body, mind, and soul.
- Had two hard drives for your computer
- Visited all 50 states
- Taken care of someone who was drunk - If you haven't done this by 30 you either have very responsible friends or you are a complete a-hole.
- Had amazing friends - If you haven't found amazing friends by 30 (or had them and lost them) I feel sorry for you. Good friends are one of the finest things in life.
- Danced with a stranger in a foreign country - I've decided England doesn't count (United Kingdom is the country).
- Watched whales
- Stolen a sign - And been ashamed of it.
- Backpacked in Europe
- Taken a road-trip
- Gone rock climbing - Done a couple of climbing walls but that doesn't count.
- Taken a midnight walk on the beach
- Gone sky diving
- Visited Ireland
- Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love - Not that kind of person.
- In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them - Bit weird, no?
- Visited Japan - Must do this again. So much fun.
- Milked a cow - Milked a goat a long time ago. Don't get on farms much.
- Alphabetized your CDs - This just makes sense.
- Pretended to be a superhero - 'Pretended'?
- Sung karaoke - Badly. Enthusiastically. So badly.
- Lounged around in bed all day - What. A. Waste.
- Played touch football
- Gone scuba diving - I've snorkeled in a pool but nothing more.
- Kissed in the rain - Some rains make for a romantic kiss, some really do not!
- Played in the mud - Embrace your inner kid.
- Played in the rain - EMBRACE THE INNER KID!
- Gone to a drive-in theatre
- Visited the Great Wall of China
- Started a business
- Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
- Toured ancient sites - Hard not to in Scotland. Just wandering around could be considered as touring ancient sites.
- Taken a martial arts class
- Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight - This is not a *must do* thing! I've played once (when I was 7). No idea how long it took. Probably not 6 hours.
- Gotten married
- Been in a movie - Extra in Stroke of Genius.
- Crashed a party
- Gotten divorced - I think items on the list shouldn't rely on other items on the list (no. 72 in this case).
- Gone without food for 5 days
- Made cookies from scratch - So many cookies. COOKIE MONSTER!!!
- Won first prize in a costume contest
- Ridden a gondola in Venice
- Gotten a tattoo - Don't think this should be on the list. Personal preference.
- Rafted the Snake River- Pretty location specific. Been rafting though.
- Been on a television news program as an ‘expert’ - Not many people get to do that. Helps if you're pretty in addition to smart.
- Gotten flowers for no reason
- Performed on stage - I'm counting school.
- Been to Las Vegas
- Recorded music - I have recorded other people playing music. Not very musical myself.
- Eaten shark - Sorry.
- Kissed on the first date - Does before the first date count?
- Gone to Thailand
- Bought a house
- Been in a combat zone
- Buried one/both of your parents - Whoa! This should NOT be on the list.
- Been on a cruise ship
- Spoken more than one language fluently - I should pull the finger out and polish up the ol' French.
- Performed in Rocky Horror - Don't see this ever happening.
- Raised children - Not going to happen. Nope.
- Followed your favourite band/singer on tour
- Passed out cold
- Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
- Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
- Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
- Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open - Not often warm enough for the windows to be open in Scotland.
- Had plastic surgery - Should not be on the list but the fix on my nose counts.
- Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived - Had a few near-misses but not sure if any qualify for this.
- Wrote articles for a large publication - Don't think the local paper counts as a 'large publication'.
- Lost over 100 pounds - This should not be on the list. You shouldn't have those 100 pounds to lose in the first place! Maybe this should be 'Gotten into excellent shape'.
- Held someone while they were having a flashback - Ummm... Not sure anyone I know has intense flashbacks. This is a weird entry.
- Piloted an airplane
- Touched a stingray
- Broken someone’s heart - Don't think this should be on the list. Seems mean.
- Helped an animal give birth
- Won money on a TV game show - Another poor entry in my book. Think this list could be fairly easily thinned to 100. Of course, 'before you're 30' lists are always better personalised.
- Broken a bone
- Gone on an African photo safari
- Had a facial part pierced other than your ears - Again, personal preference not to do this one. Looks good on some people, probably would not do me any favours.
- Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
- Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild - Can be a risky proposition!
- Ridden a horse
- Had major surgery - Another bad entry.
- Had a snake as a pet
- Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
- Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period - What a waste of precious time!
- Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
- Visited all 7 continents
- Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
- Eaten kangaroo meat
- Eaten sushi
- Had your picture in the newspaper
- Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about - Not sure about this one so not scoring it for me.
- Gone back to school - A little ambiguous, this one.
- Parasailed
- Touched a cockroach
- Eaten fried green tomatoes
- Read The Iliad and The Odyssey - Two epics on a rather epic reading list.
- Selected one ‘important’ author who you missed in school, and read - Done this for more than one author. Some many books to catch up on!
- Killed and prepared an animal for eating
- Skipped all your school reunions - Not had one yet (May is the first) but I plan to attend so not scoring this for me. Why not see what became of those feral little kids?
- Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
- Been elected to public office - C'mon, really? If anyone has really done all of these items they've lived one crazy life!
- Written your own computer language
- Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream - Think this goes with that happiness one. Generally sarcastic when I tell myself I'm living my dreams.
- Had to put someone you love into hospice care - Should not be on the list.
- Built your own PC from parts
- Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
- Had a booth at a street fair
- Dyed your hair
- Been a DJ - Done playlists for events and managed the sound centre but not used deck so not counting this one.
- Shaved your head - Had a trimmer run over my head but didn't shave the final stubble.
- Caused a car accident - Who puts this sort of crap on the list?
- Saved someone’s life
62/150
Not the most amazing score. Hasn't really inspired me to a specific activity but I think, on reflection, I should travel a bit more. I love to see new place, experience new cultures, but always end up trying to save a bit of cash by taking smaller holidays (or none at all). A fun wee list to spark ideas but I think people should stop looking at other people's lists and decide what it is they really want to do.
What do I really want to do before I'm 30? Not sure of specifics yet but I'm damn sure I want to make every year count!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Bombs Over Bathdad
Bath bombs.
Not something I think about often. Frivolous items, often accompanied with hippy jargon, generally reserved for 'smellies' gift sets. I'm more of a bubble bath guy. Not that baths are a common occurrence in my life, being generally reserved for muscle soreness, feeling rubbish, or a chill-out night. Showers use less water.
I was intrigued, though, when making bath bombs came up as an activity at the local youth club where I volunteer. One of the youth workers runs Heavens A Scrub and decided to show us how to make some somewhat more basic bombs.
To make a simple bath bomb you mix citric acid powder with bicarbonate of soda, add oils/essences/dyes/glitter, mould, and leave to dry. The oil binds the acid and alkali without giving them the moisture needed to react - that stage is saved for the bath magic. Different oils and essences can be used in order for all sorts of supposed benefits; lavender essence for relaxation, almond oil for improved skin, crude oil for revenge, etc. Dyes can be used to give people a visual clue what the smell should be. As to glitter, well, real men don't use glitter. Bit of a pointless additive which you'll be scrubbing from your tub for weeks.
I went for a latte bomb. Skim milk powder and instant coffee were the additive to transform my bath into a foamy beverage. Olive oil was used to bind the powders, the instant coffee provided colour and smell, and the skim milk powder provided the froth. Tell you what, it certainly didn't taste much like a latte. Very salty (for obvious reasons, if you remember your basic chemistry).
The result was not marketable. Not if repeat customers were part of the business plan. I hadn't ground the coffee granules down enough to dissolve effectively in the water which left the bath with brown dots and me with a few extra freckles. The skim milk left a faint scum which died as quickly as it appeared. Not the foamy tub of Starbucks I had envisioned. Maybe I should've stuck to the basics.
The Al-Bomb |
Bombs away! |
The magic |
This is what a Venti looks like in the States |
The result was not marketable. Not if repeat customers were part of the business plan. I hadn't ground the coffee granules down enough to dissolve effectively in the water which left the bath with brown dots and me with a few extra freckles. The skim milk left a faint scum which died as quickly as it appeared. Not the foamy tub of Starbucks I had envisioned. Maybe I should've stuck to the basics.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Motivation
mo·ti·va·tion/ˌmōtəˈvāSHən/
Noun: |
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What motivates people? How can a normal chump get a slice of champion-level motivation? This is a question that interests me very much, and it seems I'm not alone. There are seemingly endless articles by psychologists, trainers, life coaches, newspapers, casual bloggers, etc. that you can trawl through if you're so inclined. You could sink hours reading up on the subject but, if you're anything like me, even the most excellent articles will provide only the temporary boost that evaporates the second the alarm sounds at stupid-o'-clock in the morning. That said, what's the point in writing this blog post?
My (frank) answer: "For me". This blog was supposed to motivate me to try new things, guilt me out of my comfort zone. The problem with that plan? If I lack the motivation to blog, how can the blog motivate my lazy ass out of the front door to try something out of the comfort zone? It's not like I have thousands of readers to let down. In considering the question I realised that the mere presence of the blog was enough to push me to new things, even if I wasn't blogging. It had me reflecting on my source of motivation, had me reading articles and watching YouTube clips, even though I wasn't writing or planning new posts. So this blog, in its own strange way, is a source of motivation for me.
|
What else motivates me? I don't know, to be completely honest. Sometimes it's a sense of duty to others (charity marathon, volunteering), to friends (getting up at stupid times to make cakes or travel), or to myself (studying, exercising, dietary improvement). Sometimes it's seeing friends improving, showing me the way. Sometimes it's the push from an article (Jason Ferruggia & Arnold Schwarzenegger are particularly fine examples in my case) or YouTube compilation (a few clips that work for me below) or just watching the incredible athletes on TV, especially during the recent Olympics and (no doubt) the upcoming Paralympics. Sometimes it's to prove to myself that I'm not letting a fear of failure crush my development. But sometimes it's none of those. Sometimes 'just because' is enough to push me out the door for that first step. After all, "A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step" - Lao Tzu. So maybe it's time to stop looking for motivation and to take action just because. The motivation we're all looking for is probably just buried inside, waiting for that first step. |
YouTube clips that have bounced about inside my skull during periods of low self-motivation:
Motivation Compilation 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk56VxaeqEQ
Hefty, Hefty, Hefty! - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0D5OWfdyTk
How Bad Do You Want It? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ&feature=related
Motivation Compilation 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFJZsWZmgtU&feature=related
The Mightly Schwarzenegger - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4640OkOWtGQ&feature=context-vrec
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Reset
I've been thinking about my approach to this blog of late and, though not fully decided on this, think perhaps the month-long trials and goals aren't the right approach. I still believe that the month-long trial is a great way to try new things (which remains the point of this blog) but the end-of-month goal setting doesn't seem to fit quite right. The blog just becomes another deadline.
I'll most likely keep setting personal goals at the start of the month but I'll only blog once they're underway, once I actually have something to say about it.
This month I'm trying intermittent fasting and am aiming to cut down screen time in order to up reading time. Been in a bit of a personal free-fall throughout June, falling out of love with my exercise routine (but not skipping it), letting clutter build up in my room, and generally just coasting rather than seizing life.
Short post, no pics. Boring, I know. Fear not. This is me hitting the reset, taking the cartridge out and sticking it back in, refreshing. Time to build back up from the slide that was June. Bring it on July!
I'll most likely keep setting personal goals at the start of the month but I'll only blog once they're underway, once I actually have something to say about it.
This month I'm trying intermittent fasting and am aiming to cut down screen time in order to up reading time. Been in a bit of a personal free-fall throughout June, falling out of love with my exercise routine (but not skipping it), letting clutter build up in my room, and generally just coasting rather than seizing life.
Short post, no pics. Boring, I know. Fear not. This is me hitting the reset, taking the cartridge out and sticking it back in, refreshing. Time to build back up from the slide that was June. Bring it on July!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
The Road to Ru(i)n
I've always said that I wasn't a runner. And I'm not. Not going by my technique, times, attitude or build. I had never enjoyed running. Puffing around the rugby pitch (approximately a minute behind the play), getting knocked out first in the primary 7 'beep test', and the seemingly endless 6-minute run in S3 all served as evidence to prove my point. So what got me running?
Initially the frustration of unemployment out of university had me trying to build up a bit of running fitness, though this went right out the window as soon as I was in a job. Then my girlfriend at the time got into running through her friend. Was that it? Not quite. I'm okay with a partner who is better than me. But it certainly planted a seed, seeing her progress from the run/walk to 10km races.
One fateful morning I hit the top notch of my work belt. I was getting fatter. Something had to be done. Then the stars aligned and my office moved to a new location - across the street from a good gym. I could see it from my desk. I could afford it. I needed it. I joined.
My initial training program included fast flat runs, hill runs, and a hill sprint. All of short duration (3min or less). I could handle that. Then one of the trainers persuaded me to attended her morning treadmill torture class. Slowly my running ability increased. My confidence in what I could achieve increased.
My training? What training? Who needs to train for a weeny little thing like that? So, on May 6th 2011, I rocked up at 6.45am in my shorts, ready to feel some burn. They penned my number on my arm, stuck me on a treadmill, and off I went. 11:58 for the run. Not too bad. 18:43 for the cycle. Not great. Then...24:44 for the swim. Yeah. That happened. A bit of me died in that pool. Both legs cramped at 200m. By the end the staff were cheering the fat kid on to get him to the finish...with the slowest swim leg in the UK. True story.
So what next for the somewhat humbled Al? A 5km fun-run being staged by a friend of a friend fit the bill. Out came the running shoes and far-too-small rugby shorts (pictured) for the Chariots of Fire themed (hence the need for white shorts) run along the glorious West Sands in St. Andrews.
Normally glorious.

I was happy. I had never expected to finish a 10km, especially not in under an hour. Contented.
Then I moved to the frozen wilds of the north and had to shift gym. Except the big gym in my new town was much more expensive and nowhere near as good. This discovery made me so angry I hit the pavements, knocked out 10km, and decided to run 10km every Saturday. Then I joined a wee running group to get me out mid-week over the cold months. Contentment re-attained. Or so I thought.
What do you do on your birthday when you're going to be spending it alone in a small town in the north of Scotland? My answer? Run the local half marathon which just so happens to be on your birthday. My training plan? Similar to the TRYathlon. Increased the weekend run to 13km for the two weeks before. Running a half isn't too much more than running 10km, right? Right?
Almost right. Despite the dispiriting bus trip along the entirety of the course and the snow, the run was mostly fine. I took it easy. I breathed. I focussed on technique, landing softly and putting the load through the glutes. All was good. The sun came out. I warmed up in the 3C heat. I overtook weary runners. I looked on course for a sub-2 hour finish.
Then it happened.
I hit the wall. My strength went. The fuel tank said empty despite the slap-up breakfast. This was a new and unpleasant experience. I slowed down. I forgot the 2 hour mark. I tried to relax. Not long left. Not long. Where is the finish? How big is this damn RAF base?!
A final push got me in at 1:55:40, singing happy birthday to myself. Sad, eh?
That done, I was content again. Except, in a bout of pre-race jitters, I had applied to the Edinburgh Marathon as a charity runner for The Stroke Association. The half marathon put on course for a first-timer training schedule. Why not run for a good cause?
Two days after the half marathon I received an email. The Stroke Association had accepted me and entered me into the race. Oh my. Time to get training. You can back out of a self-entry but to back out on a cause like that? No way. So I got serious. I did some reading. I got vaseline. I started running four times a week. I had to earn some sponsorship for The Stroke Association. I couldn't back out now.
Many a cold (often freezing) morning saw this lumbering fool slogging his way through the woods or around the town before work. One Saturday morning saw me out of the house at 4.30am in order to get three laps of the town in before a morning food hygiene course.
Even after all this time I told myself I hated running. Don't get me wrong, I loved finishing the run. I could then justify sitting on my butt and eating junk all day. Or so I told myself. Even seeing my weight drop to its lowest level since school did little to endear myself to the early morning runs. This negative mindset did nothing to help me. Nor did the foot injury incurred during a deeply unpleasant run in high winds, sleet, snow, and hail. The injury - made worse by trying to pretend it wasn't a problem for the next run - meant I spent April surfing the couch, putting back on all the weight I had lost and losing all hope of the 4 hour pace I had been running.
During that time off I realised I missed the runs. Maybe not the frequency, the cold, or the long runs, but I missed getting out there nonetheless. In May I got back out. Slower, heavier, but happier about it. A stronger mindset for cruising through the bloody nipples and chafed thighs to get to the fitness necessary to put on a show for my sponsors.

From the Regent Street we headed out of town and along the coast. The course was lined with cheering crowds. Some people were out hosing down runners, some were providing music, the atmosphere was great. Best of all the runs to date. The miles were falling away. My pace was as planned. Good times.
Then we headed out of town. Out to the barren coast. Under the hot sun. So hot. Water stations seemed to evaporate. We ran through a stinky cow farm. My back started to ache. Bad times.
Somewhere between mile 21 and mile 22 I had to drop down to a walk and stretch out my back. Bad bad bad. All I could think about was water. My expected time slipped away. But eventually I got going again, emptying the tank on the final 300m. So focussed on the line that I missed my brother shouting and waving on the final turn. I had finished. Not in great style, it must be said, nor quickly (4:44:11). But I finished.
Though I still don't consider myself a proper runner, many might disagree with that. I run. I'm even enjoying it now. It doesn't really matter what I call myself. I've made my peace with running. Have you?
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Cookie Monster!
What do you do when you're bored? Read a book? Watch TV? I do these sometimes. Sometimes, though, I bake.
And sometimes I bake lots.
Inspired by the excellent Felicity Cloake (of Guardian fame) article on how to make the perfect chocolate chip cookie, I set about no less than six batches of chocolate chip cookies on my delicious quest to crunchy, chewy, chocolaty, buttery, fatty perfection.
The contenders in this spectacular show-down are Felicity Cloake (recipe here), Dan Lepard's unconventional number (here), a recipe from Jamie Oliver's site (here), a representative from allrecipes.com (here), 'The Chewy' from The Food Network (here), and an all-American classic from Joy of Cooking.
2-3 hours of creaming butter and sugar, beating in eggs, chopping chocolate, sifting flour and baking soda, I had six carefully labelled bowls of cookie dough resting in the fridge.
24 hours later (resting the dough in the fridge improves the cookies) it was time for baking. The genius tip of flattening the cookies mid-bake for a denser, chewier centre was used on all batches. A couple hours of baking, some rather impatient waiting et voila! Cookies. Let the tasting commence!
Felicity Cloake - Too soft. Too spongy. Not the crispy, chewy texture I expect in a chocolate chip cookie. Tasted okay but all the cookies used the same ingredients so texture will be the decider here.
Dan Lepard - Good texture, love the oats. The almond essence, however, overpowered everything but the chocolate and put it out of contention for the top spot.
Jamie Oliver - Good. Oh so good. Maybe that sneaky extra egg yolk makes the difference, maybe not. Either way these have crispy edges, chewy centres, and are everything a cookie should be.
Allrecipies - Pretty good effort. Covers the bases but too consistent in texture. Either not crispy on the edges or crispy right through. Not the contrast required in a perfect cookie.
'The Chewy' - My old standby. Good, solid cookie but languishes in fourth place behind the Allrecipes version. Same flaw on the texture front but, unlike the Allrecipies cookie, these cookies are over-chocolated for my tastes.
Joy of Cooking - The winner by a hair. Chewy, crunchy, chocolaty goodness. Get the book.
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