A Well Adjusted Individual

Following a rather misjudged headstand in yoga, I was left with a persistent neck pain. After two weeks, I asked a chiropractor friend of mine about it, who kindly offered to take a look.

Wikipedia, that rigorous, reliable academic source, says that "Chiropractic is a health care discipline and profession that emphasizes diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mechanical disorders of the musculoskeletal system, especially the spine, under the hypothesis that these disorders affect general health via the nervous system" and warns that "Death has occurred following chiropractic spinal manipulation, and the risks by far surpass its benefit". Good thing I don't believe everything I read.

At the small clinic in a posh suburb of Glasgow, I completed the health questionnaire prior to my appointment. Do the expect me to remember whether I fell down stairs or got knocked about before I was 5? I can't say my memory of that period of my life is terribly strong. I also didn't really get the question about health that required you to score (out of ten) how healthy you were and how healthy you wanted to be. Who wouldn't put 10 for the second? Who wants to be less than perfectly healthy?

Having worked my way through the paperwork, I was issued into the back room where my general misalignment and reactions were tested. I don' think it was a disaster, but maybe she was just being nice by saying nothing at all.

Then the adjustment. The part that everyone thinks about. The neck-cracking (during which I couldn't stop myself thinking about the results of a slightly more vigorous twist) and the folding and massaging of the bits and pieces of the body around the spine. It wasn't as bad as expected, certainly not as sore as other people had led me to believe. Something different, for sure.

To cap it off, my neck and back felt better the next day. Placebo effect or not, think what you like, I owe my friend a drink.

Gig: Futuristic Retro Champions

Date: Monday 14th June 2010

Venue: Brel, Ashton Lane

http://www.futuristicretrochampions.com/

This was a pleasant surprise. Following a chance encounter at a train station, my flatmate invited me along to a wee gig on Monday night to see this rather unusually titled band. I, of course, accepted.

The band mostly play upbeat, catchy electro-pop. All the songs are sung in an unmistakably Scottish accent and are amazingly catchy. I must say, however, that it took a couple of listens to really get into their particular groove.

The venue, Brel, is a small pub/restaurant (with garden) down the rather surreal Ashton Lane. Apparently voted The Guardian's 3rd favorite gig venue (unverified!), I was skeptical about its size and ability to host a decent gig. The place does sell West beer, so kudos for that (not that I'm drinking at the moment).

The gig was an acoustic set (apparently their first) and worked extremely well, sounding great in the small room. The band were enthusiastic despite a rather dull audience vibe and kept bouncing and clapping enthusiastically throughout the set. It was strange being at a gig indoors with so much natural light, but I liked the rather unusual setting for a rather unusual gig. My only criticisms would be that the chairs, effectively steel patio furniture, became uncomfortable quickly and that the gig was too short. Maybe the time just flew by because it was so enjoyable, but it did seem like a bit of a brief set.

In short, a band I wouldn't hesitate to go see again. They've got a free EP online if you're interested - check 'em out.

Stay Classy Glasgow

Virgin Active gyms are decent enough to include all classes in the membership fee. Until the other week I had been too embarrassed about my fitness levels to join one. But then, in the spirit of this blog, I decided to swallow my pride and go for a class each weekday for one week...

Monday : V-Core

The name of this class is fairly self-explanatory. Half an hour of planks, crunches, jackknives, etc. with medicine balls, Swiss balls, or just a mat. I enjoyed the class, though it felt like i was being torn in half at times on the Swiss ball. Certainly 'activated' the abs - they were strained all week! This is a class that I've continued with (after a two week break from the gym, covered later).

Verdict: Targeted, quick, strenuous. Like it!

Tuesday : Body Combat

This was the type of class I feared from the outset. A bunch of fit people in the room, all accustomed to the routines, all with excellent timing, and all looking much less stupid than the tall American-Scottish disaster in the centre of the room.

The class was a variation of punches (i.e. hook, uppercut, jab) and kicks (back-kicks, sides-kicks, jump-kicks) set to music. The instructor was friendly, enthusiastic, and seemingly oblivious to the less than enthusiastic 'huh!'s (think the sounds from the kung-fu fighting song), but then she could only expect so much from a class starting at 7am. The whole thing was immensely fun, despite my chronic lack of rhythm and highly amateur combat moves.

Verdict: Fun, different, but maybe not strenuous enough to replace my gym session. Best for people with a bit of rhythm.

Wednesday : V-Tread & ViPR

I had only planned to do one class a day, and keep my extra exercise limited to a warm-up before the class, but when Monday's V-Core instructor was reduced to asking the people already on the treadmills (myself included) to get someone to take the class I took pity and went for a double. This turned out to be a good call, but it certainly didn't feel like it at the time. I'm no runner.

The V-Tread class is very much like a spin class (you know, the savage instructor-led cycling) on a treadmill. I was asked to select a comfortable pace. I did. After a few minutes I was told to up the pace by 15%. A few minutes later I was told to up the pace by 30%. Then, when I was tiring, I was told to sprint flat out for a minute. As I reached the end of that minute, legs turning to a rather unappealing jelly, I was told to 'rest' for two minutes at a comfortable pace. That pace wasn't so comfortable anymore, I can tell you. Then I got to do it all again in a different order. Luckily, instead of having me do a third, the instructor allowed me to skip to the cool down. Only 'cause it was my first time, of course (I actually suspect she was worried about my heart exploding). Satisfying but exhausting.

Then up to ViPR. The ViPR (pictured) is a hollow, weighted tube with a number of handles, hailed as an exciting new development in exercise equipment. The class is a full-body workout utilising this strange, new, and apparently expensive bit of kit. The plethora of lunges and squats threatened to put me on my face (the legs weak from the previous class), the core exercise just plain hurt (strained core muscles - see Monday), and the chest and arm exercises were suitable exhausting. It's amazing what you can do to yourself with seemingly simple pieces of kit.

V-Tread Verdict: Excellent class. Hard work, simply constructed. Not my cup of tea, but that probably means it's the best choice for me!

ViPR Verdict: Another good one. Hits all the muscles with a free-weight style workout that is strenuous enough to have me feeling righteous after the half hour is up.

Thursday : Body Pump

"The greatest feeling you can get in a gym or the most satisfying feeling you can get in the gym is the pump"

Body Pump is another class with all the perfect people doing exercise to music. The class is a full body workout with a barbell. Each muscle set is given its moment, with weight levels on the bar changed for each type. This class was hard. Hard hard hard. The instructor wasn't loving my lack of timing, though I was getting the hang by the end, and a helpful class member helped me twice - once with technique, once with weight levels for the exercises. I collapsed a number of times during the final, core-focused stage. Planks were plainly beyond me at that point.

Verdict: You want a tough full-body free-weight workout? You got it. This class is excellent, but would benefit from a more welcoming instructor, I feel.

Friday : Yoga

I was looking forward to this one. After a week of classes, pretty much every major muscle in my body was strained. I couldn't wait for a peaceful session of yoga to stretch off the sore muscles. All the muscle straining was over, right? Wrong.

The class was almost empty, only 6 people compared to the 30-odd in the other 7am studio classes, and 3 were newbies like myself. Instructor was friendly and welcoming, if a bit new-age for my taste ("you never practice yoga on a full moon day").

Yoga is hard. The stretches had me pouring with sweat and trying focus on the yogic breathing rather than the fact that it felt like the muscles would soon give in and leave me a sweaty puddle of self-loathing on the mat. The final moves were the 'fun' moves more in line with the public perception of yoga. The leg over the head type of thing. Whilst the moves were introduced and explained well, and various difficulties presented, they were still a struggle. The yoga instructor made 'em look so simple, though, that you couldn't help but try.

And try I did. Head stance, anyone? Being a hefty, 6'4" dude, I probably should not be static on my head, even with my elbows down to form the base. I gave it a shot, 'cause you should try everything. Be bold. It was going fine until I decide to adjust my head without getting out of the stance because of the uncomfortable pressure. You'd think that I might have though before messing about on my head. Nope. As such, I badly pulled a neck muscle and couldn't look up for a few days, and was in pain for a couple of weeks. And out of the gym. Teach me to think yoga would be a breeze.

Verdict: Interesting. A good way to top off a week of exercise, simultaneously strengthening and stretching out all the muscles exhausted by a week of exercise. Just think about what you're doing before you mess about in the stances.

Still a few classes to try now that I'm back at the gym, but I won't bore you with the details.

Stay classy Glasgow.